As a naturally feisty person, I've always been up for an argument. As I grew up, I learnt from my sister how to stand my ground and not to let anyone (men or women) to make me feel uncomfortable or threatened. This was most prevalent on our walk to the bus stop when we'd get cat-called, or have snowballs thrown at us because our school uniform was different to the local school (I once got called a slut in my local shop). I learnt that instead of keeping my head down, sometimes you needed to stand up and be heard.
I started to use this more when I began to go out with friends to festivals, or to gigs etc. As a young woman, I am naturally subject to cat-calling. The worst one was when I was off to a gig and a guy followed me for a bit, asking if I wanted a lift to my destination. I told him politely to leave me alone, it didn't work, so I became less polite and told him to 'Fuck off'. It worked and (I think) that is because once these sleazy people realize that you will not take any shit, they leave you alone. It's awful, but it works.
Sadly, many people don't know or understand this. We (in particular, women) are taught by society that cat-calling is a compliment and that being groped in a club is only acceptable behavior if you're single. We are not taught to stand up for ourselves when it comes to street harassment.
One example of this is when I was on a school trip to Germany, and my best friend was being harassed (verbally) to donate money and he attempted to put his arm round her. She tried telling him to go away, but it didn't work until I shouted "Nein" at him. He ran away and stopped bothering us. When the school group reconvened, many other girls had the same person acting the same way and had no idea how to stop such behaviour.
Don't get me wrong, I completely understand that in the heat of the moment its difficult to say what you really mean- I completely understand that as I've been there. I have fended off unwanted attention by claiming I'm with my boyfriend (and once even girlfriend), therefore making it incredibly clear that I am not interested. But I shouldn't have to use being in a relationship an excuse to fend off inappropriate behaviour, and nor should anybody else. If you don't want to be groped, or cat-called then don't be afraid to speak up. Shout back.
Saying that if you don't speak up, you are still not to blame. Never let anyone try and tell you that because you didn't speak up, you are to blame. The person who made you feel uncomfortable or threatened is always to blame; they crossed your boundaries.
Don't be afraid, okay? If you want to speak up then do. Fight the bastards.
Feel free to share your experiences on here, or tweet/tumblr message me.
Thanks for reading,
Kitty x
Tuesday 27 May 2014
Wednesday 21 May 2014
Moving On Up
On my final day of secondary school education (which is tomorrow but I am being proactive and posting now wow go me), I'm feeling weirdly relieved. If you read my previous blog post, you would have realised that I've been at my current school for the past 7 years, so its been a big deal to leave. But, unlike in the past few months, I'm starting to feel disenchanted with school and I really feel ready to leave. I've spent a good deal of my life there, and I've changed a lot compared to the shy little chubby girl who was really terrified of the world. I'm moving on from a lot of things at the moment, and it just seems suitable to leave school behind.
One thing I'm finding hardest to come to terms with is the fact that, after 7 years, I am only keeping in contact with a few people. I've lost more friends than I've gained and that's kind of a scary prospect. I partly think its because people don't like the person I've become- which is fine. I've changed a lot , in particular this year, because of stress, breakups, life choices etc. I'm not ashamed of the person I am. I guess that is just the way school goes, and I can't wait to move on and make new friends (or if not, adopt loads of animals).
I guess I'm just feeling a bit sad that I don't have a lot to show from 7 years of school.
I'm still going to cry my eyes out of course, this school was a massive part of my life. Plus I'm a hormonal, nostalgic, frequent cryer.
If you're also leaving school, please comment/tweet/tumblr message me and tell me how you're feeling about it.
Thanks for reading,
Kitty x
(p.s, I have gap year news! I'm heading off to New Zealand on October 24th with BUNAC! i'll do another gap year post soonish maybe though)
One thing I'm finding hardest to come to terms with is the fact that, after 7 years, I am only keeping in contact with a few people. I've lost more friends than I've gained and that's kind of a scary prospect. I partly think its because people don't like the person I've become- which is fine. I've changed a lot , in particular this year, because of stress, breakups, life choices etc. I'm not ashamed of the person I am. I guess that is just the way school goes, and I can't wait to move on and make new friends (or if not, adopt loads of animals).
I guess I'm just feeling a bit sad that I don't have a lot to show from 7 years of school.
I'm still going to cry my eyes out of course, this school was a massive part of my life. Plus I'm a hormonal, nostalgic, frequent cryer.
If you're also leaving school, please comment/tweet/tumblr message me and tell me how you're feeling about it.
Thanks for reading,
Kitty x
(p.s, I have gap year news! I'm heading off to New Zealand on October 24th with BUNAC! i'll do another gap year post soonish maybe though)
Thursday 8 May 2014
#MyRedCross
In honor of Red Cross/Red Crescent week, I wanted to talk about my experience with the Red Cross as a First Aid Volunteer, and how vital the skills they taught me are and have been.
If you didn't already know, The Red Cross is a volunteer-led humanitarian organisation that provides first aid training, emergency response, refugee support and help before and after natural disasters occur. They are an internationally recognised helpline for those in desperate need.
I began my time with Red Cross in March 2013, having previously learnt some first aid with another organisation. When I joined my local division, I just wanted to gain my first aid certificate to put on my CV for nursing, whilst getting some care experience. I had heard of them as an organisation before, mainly through jokes or adverts. Throughout the 4 months it took to complete my Event First Aid qualification I learnt so many valuable skills and met some incredible people. As a now qualified volunteer, I am able to commit to being part of First Aiders at events; in two weeks I will be attending Chatsworth Horse Trials!
Although I have and will do events in which I'll be an official First Aider, those aren't the only moments when I've needed to use my First Aid skills. I've had countless incidents at parties and festivals when I'm needed to help those who are overly drunk to be put to bed in the recovery position, as well sorting out burns and cuts.
There have also been more serious incidents when I've had to use my first aid skills. The other day, my boyfriend took an unexpected turn for the worse after sustaining an injury, and became dizzy and nauseous. Before I could talk through how he was feeling, he had collapsed and began to present symptoms of a seizure. I did all I could to calm him down and was prepared to call an ambulance; but thankfully it worked and he didn't fit. If it weren't for my Red Cross training, I wouldn't have been able recognise that he was close to having a seizure.
I've experienced first-hand how vital it is to have first aid training, and yet it still shocks me how many people lack the skills which could mean the difference between someone's life or death.
If you're interested in getting involved with the Red Cross (there are loads of opportunities!), then head to the link there and you'll find a really easy to use and helpful website. I can't praise them enough for how they've helped me, so I wholeheartedly recommend it.
Thanks for reading,
Kitty x
If you didn't already know, The Red Cross is a volunteer-led humanitarian organisation that provides first aid training, emergency response, refugee support and help before and after natural disasters occur. They are an internationally recognised helpline for those in desperate need.
I began my time with Red Cross in March 2013, having previously learnt some first aid with another organisation. When I joined my local division, I just wanted to gain my first aid certificate to put on my CV for nursing, whilst getting some care experience. I had heard of them as an organisation before, mainly through jokes or adverts. Throughout the 4 months it took to complete my Event First Aid qualification I learnt so many valuable skills and met some incredible people. As a now qualified volunteer, I am able to commit to being part of First Aiders at events; in two weeks I will be attending Chatsworth Horse Trials!
Although I have and will do events in which I'll be an official First Aider, those aren't the only moments when I've needed to use my First Aid skills. I've had countless incidents at parties and festivals when I'm needed to help those who are overly drunk to be put to bed in the recovery position, as well sorting out burns and cuts.
There have also been more serious incidents when I've had to use my first aid skills. The other day, my boyfriend took an unexpected turn for the worse after sustaining an injury, and became dizzy and nauseous. Before I could talk through how he was feeling, he had collapsed and began to present symptoms of a seizure. I did all I could to calm him down and was prepared to call an ambulance; but thankfully it worked and he didn't fit. If it weren't for my Red Cross training, I wouldn't have been able recognise that he was close to having a seizure.
I've experienced first-hand how vital it is to have first aid training, and yet it still shocks me how many people lack the skills which could mean the difference between someone's life or death.
If you're interested in getting involved with the Red Cross (there are loads of opportunities!), then head to the link there and you'll find a really easy to use and helpful website. I can't praise them enough for how they've helped me, so I wholeheartedly recommend it.
Thanks for reading,
Kitty x
Monday 5 May 2014
The Key To Happiness
I've been thinking about happiness a lot lately, and what it feels like to be truly happy. It's been a really tough past couple of months, and so any moments in which I feel happy are treasured. However there are very few moments that I can still re-live the feeling of pure joy for life, and they remind me to smile even when I'm sad.
It's a pretty rough time for anyone at the moment I feel, so I'm encouraging both you and myself to think about the happier times to get us through the darker times. So, here are my most treasured moments of happiness within the past year.
8th August - Yasmin (one of my best friends) and I went to Cardiff to visit the 'Doctor Who Experience'. It was my first trip which was without parents that I had organized and it felt good. I was starting to buzz with the idea of leaving home and, as you may remember, this was the trip where the Gap Year idea started. My favourite memory from this trip, however, was when we visited the Tardis set in the BBC studios. We were so unbelievably excited and could barely contain ourselves; which made our fellow tour-takers smile a lot. We ran around the set like hyper children, joining in with the jokes that the tour guides made and enthusiastically answering jolly quiz questions. It makes me smile about how excited we were, and the way it felt to be a little bit more carefree in a new city.
15 or 16th or something August 2013- Results day. My stomach was churning, my hands shaking and my dress sense was fabulous (dressing nicely calms me down). I had every second of the morning planned out, even the playlist for the car on the way to collect them. After the usual 'wait, how do you say your name' fiasco, I collected that ugly brown envelope. And I opened it. And I cried a bucket load of happy, 'thank god that's over' tears. I hadn't failed Human Biology which, as someone who wants to apply for nursing, is pretty essential. I stood, still shaking, having to mop up my face with my Dad's handkerchief. It was a really weird day, because a lot of people close to me were pretty upset but the relief that swept over me was unbelievable. Plus it was because of that day that I got the motivation to work for Year 13.
25th-29th October- The Berlin history trip was probably the happiest I have ever been (or that I can remember), and that was largely due to the fact that I was really really unhappy and yet I managed to let that go and enjoy myself with my best friend Darcy. The whole trip was totally amazing, but there was one moment that really stuck out. And this story will be told in great detail, so bear with me.
Darcy and I were having a pretty rough day, as many of our fellow classmates were being a bit insensitive when it came to a memorial. We eventually found a Dunkin' Donuts in the Sony Center to relax in and had a gorgeous lunch (both in terms of food and conversation) in which we shared a lot of stuff and became even closer. On our way to meet the rest of the group, we noticed a large red carpet being set up, and the Thor 2 film being advertised. One of our classmates told us that it was the Berlin premiere for the film that night but we refused to believe him. It was confirmed soon after that, but we dismissed the idea that we could turn up as we were on a school trip. Luckily, one of the attending teachers was a big Marvel fan and agreed to let us return in time to see the actors arriving. We madly fantasized about being able to see the actors and worked ourselves up into a frenzy of excitement. When the time came, our teachers said meet back at 9 and gave us free reign. Darcy and I immediately ran off into the crowd, shouting excuse me in poor German as we went, and got an okay space to see the red carpet. Chris Hemsworth passed right by us and we screamed with happiness, still amazed that we were here. Somehow, I'll never know how, we managed to get to the front of our section of barriers. We waited patiently until Tom Hiddleston arrived and screamed with happiness when he did. He spent a small amount of time signing stuff on the other side of the carpet and then went off to be interviewed. By chance, he quickly returned to the hoards of people and started signing again. His agent was keen to move him on, and by this point our barrier started screaming for him to come over.
I'll never know why, but he did. He ran over to our barrier and, whilst nearly slipping, ran straight to me and Darcy. Over the screams of people around us, he said (and if this is wrong, Darcy, please correct me. It's a mad blur) "Here are tickets to my premiere tonight, come and see my film." Darcy grabbed the tickets and he had to run off.
Screams. We screamed, a lot. We had no idea what to do. After being told what to do (go on the red carpet!) by some lovely fans next to us, we eventually got onto the red carpet. Still star-struck and mega shocked, we made our way up the red carpet to see our other friends in the crowd; amazed.
I don't think I will ever be as happy as I was that day. It was totally amazing, and made me giddy with excitement whenever I think about it.
Here are some GIFs and pictures...
It's a pretty rough time for anyone at the moment I feel, so I'm encouraging both you and myself to think about the happier times to get us through the darker times. So, here are my most treasured moments of happiness within the past year.
8th August - Yasmin (one of my best friends) and I went to Cardiff to visit the 'Doctor Who Experience'. It was my first trip which was without parents that I had organized and it felt good. I was starting to buzz with the idea of leaving home and, as you may remember, this was the trip where the Gap Year idea started. My favourite memory from this trip, however, was when we visited the Tardis set in the BBC studios. We were so unbelievably excited and could barely contain ourselves; which made our fellow tour-takers smile a lot. We ran around the set like hyper children, joining in with the jokes that the tour guides made and enthusiastically answering jolly quiz questions. It makes me smile about how excited we were, and the way it felt to be a little bit more carefree in a new city.
15 or 16th or something August 2013- Results day. My stomach was churning, my hands shaking and my dress sense was fabulous (dressing nicely calms me down). I had every second of the morning planned out, even the playlist for the car on the way to collect them. After the usual 'wait, how do you say your name' fiasco, I collected that ugly brown envelope. And I opened it. And I cried a bucket load of happy, 'thank god that's over' tears. I hadn't failed Human Biology which, as someone who wants to apply for nursing, is pretty essential. I stood, still shaking, having to mop up my face with my Dad's handkerchief. It was a really weird day, because a lot of people close to me were pretty upset but the relief that swept over me was unbelievable. Plus it was because of that day that I got the motivation to work for Year 13.
25th-29th October- The Berlin history trip was probably the happiest I have ever been (or that I can remember), and that was largely due to the fact that I was really really unhappy and yet I managed to let that go and enjoy myself with my best friend Darcy. The whole trip was totally amazing, but there was one moment that really stuck out. And this story will be told in great detail, so bear with me.
Darcy and I were having a pretty rough day, as many of our fellow classmates were being a bit insensitive when it came to a memorial. We eventually found a Dunkin' Donuts in the Sony Center to relax in and had a gorgeous lunch (both in terms of food and conversation) in which we shared a lot of stuff and became even closer. On our way to meet the rest of the group, we noticed a large red carpet being set up, and the Thor 2 film being advertised. One of our classmates told us that it was the Berlin premiere for the film that night but we refused to believe him. It was confirmed soon after that, but we dismissed the idea that we could turn up as we were on a school trip. Luckily, one of the attending teachers was a big Marvel fan and agreed to let us return in time to see the actors arriving. We madly fantasized about being able to see the actors and worked ourselves up into a frenzy of excitement. When the time came, our teachers said meet back at 9 and gave us free reign. Darcy and I immediately ran off into the crowd, shouting excuse me in poor German as we went, and got an okay space to see the red carpet. Chris Hemsworth passed right by us and we screamed with happiness, still amazed that we were here. Somehow, I'll never know how, we managed to get to the front of our section of barriers. We waited patiently until Tom Hiddleston arrived and screamed with happiness when he did. He spent a small amount of time signing stuff on the other side of the carpet and then went off to be interviewed. By chance, he quickly returned to the hoards of people and started signing again. His agent was keen to move him on, and by this point our barrier started screaming for him to come over.
I'll never know why, but he did. He ran over to our barrier and, whilst nearly slipping, ran straight to me and Darcy. Over the screams of people around us, he said (and if this is wrong, Darcy, please correct me. It's a mad blur) "Here are tickets to my premiere tonight, come and see my film." Darcy grabbed the tickets and he had to run off.
Screams. We screamed, a lot. We had no idea what to do. After being told what to do (go on the red carpet!) by some lovely fans next to us, we eventually got onto the red carpet. Still star-struck and mega shocked, we made our way up the red carpet to see our other friends in the crowd; amazed.
I don't think I will ever be as happy as I was that day. It was totally amazing, and made me giddy with excitement whenever I think about it.
Here are some GIFs and pictures...
Anyway! Those were my happiest moments of this past year (yes I know we are in May of this year, but I can't top Berlin). I'm not kidding when I say I think of these when I'm sad, and it really does work. Remembering that Tom Hiddleston personally gave you tickets to his film premiere really gets the Serotonin levels rising.
If this blog post can tell you anything, it's that life can be really rubbish sometimes and it can suck when you feel you have nothing to be happy about. But that doesn't mean it always will be. One of the reasons why I had such a fantastic time in Berlin was because I was in such a dark place, and suddenly I was given a chance to relax and enjoy myself.
Even when things are going wrong, you can always have something to keep you going.
Thanks for reading,
Kitty x
Kitty x
p.s) this blog post is dedicated to Darcy, my best girl. I love you, keep going.
Thursday 1 May 2014
Relationship Real Talk
As an angsty teenage girl, I am a by definition a self-proclaimed relationship guru. And let me tell you, teenage relationships are weird. There are hormones, life choices, awkward chats about the future and its all very messy.
The reason I wanted to make this blog post is because this is a topic which I rarely see on the Internet, and I wish it was. I've always felt a bit lost when it comes to relationships because they're so personal and none are alike to another. I want to tackle the issues which I've faced in my relationships in the hope that others may be in a similar situation.
My first (proper) relationship was formed after meeting a boy 4 times. He was part of a new and exciting group of friends that I acquired and I was super excited at the prospect of someone finding me attractive. I tentatively told my parents and they were very accepting and happy for me. With my parents on board and our relationship blossoming, everything seemed peachy...apart from the distance. He lived two bus rides away, so I spent most of my weekends travelling to meet him or waiting for him to arrive. I saw him less and less and started to disagree with his constant party lifestyle. He began to prioritise this lifestyle and once left me alone in his home town after an argument. Strains began to form and one fateful day in Sheffield, I discovered that he'd lied to me about something really important and I couldn't take it. I broke up with him a week later. It was an easier breakup than I expected and we calmly accepted that we wouldn't be friends again. Getting over him wasn't easy, and I still missed him sometimes, but I could easily justify our breakup.
My second relationship happened after a very very long period of 'when will they' with my best friend. We'd been friends since aged 11 and had been in sort of relationships before but it was different this time. My parents were thrilled, my friends were thrilled, I was thrilled. We had a slightly bumpy road due to his stress and my stress but we got through it. He decided to go to college, and I was super happy for him; he was moving on and I felt like I was going along with him. After a lovely year together, September came and ruined it. Our relationship took a turn for the worst due to circumstance and I broke it off. I was absolutely devastated, and that stayed true for another 3 months. I barely went a week without crying. He entered into a new relationship with a girl that he met at college and I got bitter. Embarrassingly bitter. So much so that I complained to people whenever I could. It hurts to lose someone you love, and it still hurts now (7 months on). I'm doing a lot better now. I've cleared the air with both him and his girlfriend, and I really think things are going to get better.
Luckily, things changed as the new year began. I met someone new! Downside: big age gap. It's not been easy. My family don't approve and nor do many of my friends and I tried to break it off, but I couldn't do it- it didn't feel right. After a lot of inner (and outer) debate, I decided to carry on. Despite what other people thought, it feels right for me to be in this relationship, and surely that is what matters? I am trying to handle the criticism and understand how others are feeling whilst making sure that I am still happy. I'm finally finding myself in a place where I feel confident and happy, and that hasn't been easy, but at the moment its the best way forward. I wish it was easier, but its not. I've accepted that the feelings of my loved ones will not change.
My romantic relationships have all affected me in different ways and I wish that I had handled things better. But I don't regret anything, I am glad that I was honest with the people closest to me, and I am glad that I left the relationships which made me feel sad. I am trying to become my own person, and find my place in the world (thank-you Taylor Swift lyrics) and relationships are a big part of that. As long as you stay respectful to yourself, leave if you become unhappy and are honest with both yourself and those closest to you, the damage will be minimal. It will be messy, but it will be worth it.
I hope this had shed some light, or more likely provided ten minutes entertainment. I felt like it was time for me to share something a bit more personal on here because I like to share.
Thanks for reading,
Kitty x
The reason I wanted to make this blog post is because this is a topic which I rarely see on the Internet, and I wish it was. I've always felt a bit lost when it comes to relationships because they're so personal and none are alike to another. I want to tackle the issues which I've faced in my relationships in the hope that others may be in a similar situation.
My first (proper) relationship was formed after meeting a boy 4 times. He was part of a new and exciting group of friends that I acquired and I was super excited at the prospect of someone finding me attractive. I tentatively told my parents and they were very accepting and happy for me. With my parents on board and our relationship blossoming, everything seemed peachy...apart from the distance. He lived two bus rides away, so I spent most of my weekends travelling to meet him or waiting for him to arrive. I saw him less and less and started to disagree with his constant party lifestyle. He began to prioritise this lifestyle and once left me alone in his home town after an argument. Strains began to form and one fateful day in Sheffield, I discovered that he'd lied to me about something really important and I couldn't take it. I broke up with him a week later. It was an easier breakup than I expected and we calmly accepted that we wouldn't be friends again. Getting over him wasn't easy, and I still missed him sometimes, but I could easily justify our breakup.
My second relationship happened after a very very long period of 'when will they' with my best friend. We'd been friends since aged 11 and had been in sort of relationships before but it was different this time. My parents were thrilled, my friends were thrilled, I was thrilled. We had a slightly bumpy road due to his stress and my stress but we got through it. He decided to go to college, and I was super happy for him; he was moving on and I felt like I was going along with him. After a lovely year together, September came and ruined it. Our relationship took a turn for the worst due to circumstance and I broke it off. I was absolutely devastated, and that stayed true for another 3 months. I barely went a week without crying. He entered into a new relationship with a girl that he met at college and I got bitter. Embarrassingly bitter. So much so that I complained to people whenever I could. It hurts to lose someone you love, and it still hurts now (7 months on). I'm doing a lot better now. I've cleared the air with both him and his girlfriend, and I really think things are going to get better.
Luckily, things changed as the new year began. I met someone new! Downside: big age gap. It's not been easy. My family don't approve and nor do many of my friends and I tried to break it off, but I couldn't do it- it didn't feel right. After a lot of inner (and outer) debate, I decided to carry on. Despite what other people thought, it feels right for me to be in this relationship, and surely that is what matters? I am trying to handle the criticism and understand how others are feeling whilst making sure that I am still happy. I'm finally finding myself in a place where I feel confident and happy, and that hasn't been easy, but at the moment its the best way forward. I wish it was easier, but its not. I've accepted that the feelings of my loved ones will not change.
My romantic relationships have all affected me in different ways and I wish that I had handled things better. But I don't regret anything, I am glad that I was honest with the people closest to me, and I am glad that I left the relationships which made me feel sad. I am trying to become my own person, and find my place in the world (thank-you Taylor Swift lyrics) and relationships are a big part of that. As long as you stay respectful to yourself, leave if you become unhappy and are honest with both yourself and those closest to you, the damage will be minimal. It will be messy, but it will be worth it.
I hope this had shed some light, or more likely provided ten minutes entertainment. I felt like it was time for me to share something a bit more personal on here because I like to share.
Thanks for reading,
Kitty x
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