As an angsty teenage girl, I am a by definition a self-proclaimed relationship guru. And let me tell you, teenage relationships are weird. There are hormones, life choices, awkward chats about the future and its all very messy.
The reason I wanted to make this blog post is because this is a topic which I rarely see on the Internet, and I wish it was. I've always felt a bit lost when it comes to relationships because they're so personal and none are alike to another. I want to tackle the issues which I've faced in my relationships in the hope that others may be in a similar situation.
My first (proper) relationship was formed after meeting a boy 4 times. He was part of a new and exciting group of friends that I acquired and I was super excited at the prospect of someone finding me attractive. I tentatively told my parents and they were very accepting and happy for me. With my parents on board and our relationship blossoming, everything seemed peachy...apart from the distance. He lived two bus rides away, so I spent most of my weekends travelling to meet him or waiting for him to arrive. I saw him less and less and started to disagree with his constant party lifestyle. He began to prioritise this lifestyle and once left me alone in his home town after an argument. Strains began to form and one fateful day in Sheffield, I discovered that he'd lied to me about something really important and I couldn't take it. I broke up with him a week later. It was an easier breakup than I expected and we calmly accepted that we wouldn't be friends again. Getting over him wasn't easy, and I still missed him sometimes, but I could easily justify our breakup.
My second relationship happened after a very very long period of 'when will they' with my best friend. We'd been friends since aged 11 and had been in sort of relationships before but it was different this time. My parents were thrilled, my friends were thrilled, I was thrilled. We had a slightly bumpy road due to his stress and my stress but we got through it. He decided to go to college, and I was super happy for him; he was moving on and I felt like I was going along with him. After a lovely year together, September came and ruined it. Our relationship took a turn for the worst due to circumstance and I broke it off. I was absolutely devastated, and that stayed true for another 3 months. I barely went a week without crying. He entered into a new relationship with a girl that he met at college and I got bitter. Embarrassingly bitter. So much so that I complained to people whenever I could. It hurts to lose someone you love, and it still hurts now (7 months on). I'm doing a lot better now. I've cleared the air with both him and his girlfriend, and I really think things are going to get better.
Luckily, things changed as the new year began. I met someone new! Downside: big age gap. It's not been easy. My family don't approve and nor do many of my friends and I tried to break it off, but I couldn't do it- it didn't feel right. After a lot of inner (and outer) debate, I decided to carry on. Despite what other people thought, it feels right for me to be in this relationship, and surely that is what matters? I am trying to handle the criticism and understand how others are feeling whilst making sure that I am still happy. I'm finally finding myself in a place where I feel confident and happy, and that hasn't been easy, but at the moment its the best way forward. I wish it was easier, but its not. I've accepted that the feelings of my loved ones will not change.
My romantic relationships have all affected me in different ways and I wish that I had handled things better. But I don't regret anything, I am glad that I was honest with the people closest to me, and I am glad that I left the relationships which made me feel sad. I am trying to become my own person, and find my place in the world (thank-you Taylor Swift lyrics) and relationships are a big part of that. As long as you stay respectful to yourself, leave if you become unhappy and are honest with both yourself and those closest to you, the damage will be minimal. It will be messy, but it will be worth it.
I hope this had shed some light, or more likely provided ten minutes entertainment. I felt like it was time for me to share something a bit more personal on here because I like to share.
Thanks for reading,
Kitty x
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